Things You Get When You’re The Sarcastic Friend

A snarky comment a day, leads to a series of blockbuster MMA movie series. Dang, I wish I had a mute button sometimes.

– Anonymous snarky specimen

Have you ever been in a situation that just made you think, “If you’re waiting for me to give a crap, you better pack some lunch. It’s going to take a while”? Has your sense of humor made it hard for people to actually tell when you’re being genuine? Get in line then, this is gonna be a loooong ride.

Love it, hate it, or be neutral to it, sarcasm can be summed up in one simple phrase: it’s complicated. Quite sadly, only a handful of us are able to utilize it to the fullest. There are such specimens in our social circle, be it family, friends, etc; there’s always that one person who can throw shade at any instance (even if it’s a solar eclipse). As someone who’s unironically snarky irl, lemme break down what happens if you’re the snarky one in your friends group.

*just imagine some fancy AF club’s doors opening grandly* Welcome to “Salt + Pepper”, where SS will be the host to you patrons interested in all things sarcasm related!

1. You unironically use the 😀, 🙂, or the 🙃 emoji at the end of every snarky text/rant you send to your friends or family.
2. You’re a walking time bomb because there are situations where you generally have no filter and want to say whatever comes to your mind. Fortunately for you, there’s always one friend who’s constantly keeping tabs on you and knows how to cool you down before you do something, well…….stupid.
3. But when you do lose your cool and let your snarky side take over………the repercussions are not that pretty. Here’s your plate of cold shoulder with a generous side of passive aggressiveness.
4. That very awkward moment when someone takes your light hearted and totally harmless joke a bit too seriously. Congrats, you’ve been excommunicado-ed from your Solar System friend circle like Pluto.
5. That other very awkward moment when you need to explain a rather hilarious sarcastic joke to that one friend who just doesn’t get it. Thanks bro, the joke’s dead and the vibe’s gone.
6. Out of all the fictional characters, your spirit animals whom you could potentially be amazing friends with mostly include Dr House, Sheldon Cooper, Sherlock (the BBC one), Chandler, Gina Linetti, Loki, to name a few.
7. Can I be honest with you? No matter how hard you try, it’s almost impossible to hide the fact that you dislike someone with the fury of a thousand suns from others. Why, you ask? Your face or mouth does the exact opposite of that. Your brain and mouth are practically on autopilot mode at this point.
8. You are the Thanos to your friends who automatically become the Avengers every time you snap a one liner.
9. Certain times, there’ll be a lingering sense of guilt for something snarky you said. It’ll just start eating away at you for quite some time now, and you’ve just gotten used to it.
10. There are also times where you do try to be chill for a change, but then you find yourself diving into a really deep pool of awkwardness. *insert crickets chirping*
11. That joy you get when you find someone who gets your jokes and shares the same sarcastic sense of humor as you do.
12. There’s probably a 98% chance your friends might get you a “Communication Skills For Dummies” copy instead of those new pair of sneakers you’ve been wanting as a birthday gift. Not even aloe vera can fix that burn……..
13. Fear not, because sarcastic friends do have some pros as well. Sometimes, they have your back by being snippy. Sometimes, you need to loosen up a little. Sometimes, it’ll help you understand such jokes a bit better. It’s nice to look at the world from a cynical perspective sometimes.

So, that was it for today everyone. Lemme know in the comments below on which point(s) you could relate to the most (for me personally, I relate to #5 and #7 a LOT). If you’d like to check out more posts like this, click here.

Until then, fellow readers! SS is out for now.

-Silver Stone

© 2022, Silver Stone. All rights reserved. Don’t land yourself in hot water, be smart!

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