“Be careful what you wish for. You’ll never know what you might expect”, is what they all said. Over and over again like a broken record. Boy do I wish I took it seriously rather than brush it off as something generic.
Only then I wouldn’t find myself in this situation.
How did this even happen? To be honest, I have no idea either. One minute we were at each others throats over a completely trivial matter, and the next thing you know the atmosphere’s changed. Our chemistry has changed. Took a 180 degree turn if you will. Gone were the days where we couldn’t stand each others presence, and they’re now replaced with discreet longing glances.
Try as we might, we can never get enough. All those long nights, sneaking out when others aren’t looking, spilling our deepest darkest secrets, those snarky DMs that we’ve had : it seems like we love to drink up each others presence, or even hear their voice. Even if neither of us openly expresses it. Your stupid smirk, your lopsided smile, your sassy persona, your kindness and dazzling eyes……….it never ends. It’s almost as if I don’t even deserve you after all we went through.
Eventually the cat was let out of the bag, and our peers slowly started to notice. That’s when I really started to panic and when things went downhill.
My fears and that daunting memory of the distant past (way before I met you) hold me back. They hold me back from reaching my full potential and from giving you everything you truly deserve. They warp and contort my mind and decisions, and as a result: my restless and irrational mind can never be tamed. As a result, I’ve not only hurt you and put you through turmoil, but dragged myself down in the process. I’ve hurt the both of us so bad that you’ve completely shut me off from your life. Looks like I really did kill two birds with one stone, and not in the right context.
I really messed up and I hate seeing us like this. This beautiful connection we had, all shattered because of me. Me whose repressed fears that hang over my head like a bunch of stormy clouds. My heart longs for you, it longs for those precious moments we shared and made. It longs for me to fix things for good and treat you better. Every ounce of my body urging me to do something before it’s too late.
3 years ago, I would’ve laughed at the idea of settling down. I’d never believe such a story like this would exist in the future. Yet it happened, and I fell. Real hard to the ground.
© 2022, Silver Stone. All rights reserved. Don’t land yourself in hot water, be smart!
Based on a story that I’m currently engrossed in right now.