Types of Students in a Lab

*blows dust off of the Student Life category and says in a sorcerer’s voice* Arise, my glorious creation. Arise! For your time has come to be resurrected.

Okay…..I’ll get to the point. But for real though: it’s been super long since I wrote a student based post, and I waited for the right opportunity to strike (*cough* Biology lab exam on Tuesday *cough*). So I did, and here’s a brand new post.

It doesn’t matter which grade you’re in or which major/stream you chose, at some point of our life or another: we have suffered from the “Mad Scientist Syndrome” or MSS for short. The most obvious symptom being going full on Dr Frankenstein in a lab. Don’t deny it, ’cause we’ve all had that thought after watching waaaay too many sci-fi movies. Oh, and don’t forget the irresistible urge to show off your lab coats every second you get. Setting all that aside, I’m here to refresh your memory by introducing some specimens (Haha, get it? ’cause it’s a biology joke?) you may have encountered in a lab.

Without further ado, I’ll list them in no particular order that’ll make you say “That’s/that was me” or “I knew someone like that”. Let’s go!

#1. The Scaredy Cat:

This person is always jittery, no matter which lab class you have. Slide preparation of a bean seed? Carefully perform a salt experiment with instructions being yelled by the teacher for everyone on the floor to hear? Doesn’t matter what the occasion is, they will 10000% be jittery as heck while doing the task. They’re pretty easy to spot since they also have the tendency to mutter, “Oh my god (x30), this is so freaky!”

#2. The Role Model:

I guess this one’s pretty self explanatory. They’re pretty much the obedient ones who do the experiment without any distraction, and they always finish them on time, and they always know what they’re doing. Props off to you for your utmost dedication! If only we could be like y’all….

#3. The Over Confident One:

This is the kid who either finishes their experiment or a part of it early, and proudly declares that they’ve got the result: only to find out that it’s not the expected result/they did the whole procedure wrong (pressing R to pay your respects). These are the types of kids who come to the lab in 2 different scenarios: either they’re unprepared but have an “idea” of what to do, or they’re “prepared” and are “sure” of what to do. Notice the quotes on the 3 words?

#4. The Sugar Rush:

Code-word for “hyperactive kid”. Now, they differ from the over confident kids by one thing: they’re extremely hyperactive and there’s a chance they know what they’re doing. These are also the types of kids that’ll talk about either the lab or the experiment in general at the speed of Eminem. We appreciate your enthusiasm and your curiosity, but please turn it down by a 100. Pretty please!

#5. The Butter Fingers:

By far, my favourite type of student. They’re a walking hazard to the lab because they might accidentally destroy it, even though they genuinely don’t intend to. They could be thorough in any subject/experiment and they could perform them flawlessly: only if they didn’t drop/break something every 10 seconds. Even prisms won’t be safe, because they might accidentally chip/destroy them. Hang in there buddy! I’m sure you’ll get over it one day.

#6. The Cool Cats:

2 cat references in one post? Wow, that’s truly something!

Ironically enough, this is a metaphor for those who aren’t serious in a lab and generally have an “IDC” (I don’t care) attitude towards everything. They don’t even show any sign of interest in any experiment, nor are they willing to put any sort of effort into doing them. I know some experiments are absolute crap, but c’mon: at least pretend that you’re doing something! It won’t hurt to lift a finger to move some apparatus or your notebook.

#7. The MIAs:

Doesn’t matter when you have a lab class, they’re always MIA. Repeating something important because it may appear in the exam? MIA! Having a mock exam just to get a gist of what you’re gonna face? MIA! When they’re questioned about their absence, they will 1000% give some generic excuse or the other (which may be true only 0.00001% of the time). This kind of behaviour is what makes it harder for your teacher to distinguish those who were absent for genuine reasons from these guys, and it’s frustrating for both parties.

#8. The Sloth:

It’s no secret that sloths are famous for being one of the slowest animals to exist. Heck, they’re often the first animals that come to our mind when we think of the word “slow”. On a side note, sloths are some of the cutest creatures ever. I mean, have you seen some pictures of them? They look so cuddly!

Ok, ok, I’m getting sidetracked here. So, these are the people who are super slow in performing an experiment in the lab. While everyone else has moved on to the 3rd or final part of an experiment, they’re still stuck in the 1st part wondering what exactly they must do. Double bonus, they’re also most likely to get scolded for not picking up the pace and keep up with others.

Last but not least……………..

#9. The Debaters:

We all know that one news reporter who’s famous for starting debates about any trivial matter on TV, to the point where they’re a gold mine for memes. Yup, you know where I’m going with this one.

This is the kid who’ll go to great lengths to either prove that their method is right (even though they may be blatantly wrong) or that their answer is “correct” just to avoid repeating the experiment. It doesn’t matter if they’ve incorrectly plotted the graph/given it a wrong scale, or if they unintentionally created a new chemical in the lab by messing up the procedure; they will always pick up a fight with the teacher regarding that. In a normal situation, this would be quality entertainment for the rest of us. Since we’re in a lab however, we just generally ignore this because we’re busy with something (unless it gets really interesting, but that’s a story for another day).

Ok, I’m officially done with this post. Hope you guys enjoyed this post, and don’t forget to comment down below which one you could relate to the most.

Until then, fellow readers! SS is out for now.

– Silver Stone

© 2022, Silver Stone. All rights reserved. Don’t land yourself in hot water, be smart!